1.0 Arnold

It might not be such a bad idea to listen to the Nerdist podcast episode with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
It is pretty fascinating, I don’t think I have ever heard or read an interview with him that was more than the usual movie promo stuff.
Go ahead, listen to it. I’ll still be here later.
…
Now I know he is a rather controversial person and I wouldn’t agree with many things he said, but it is fascinating nonetheless how he managed to get to where he is now. For people who actually learn lessons from stories like that, his might not be the worst one. (Work hard, invest smartly, be at the right place at the right time, don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn English.) Needless to say, I prefer the last two.

2.0 Happy!

You probably don’t know me as the most upbeat, optimistic and cheerful person around. The word that might come to mind is “grumpy.” (Which might also be because I’ve used that extensively in the past to describe myself.) I have even extensively quoted Marc Maron on positivity and yes, I do maintain a certain distrust towards “glass half full” kind of people, because they seem to be in denial about reality, man.
But fuck that. I am currently surrounded mostly by people whose main conversational topic is being angry about stuff or that things are wrong and that people are not behaving the way they are supposed to. (Remember? It is pretty bloody toxic, to be honest and I have no idea how to be part of those conversations.) I mean, what the hell is going on when I think there is too much negativity around?
So I will actually do something that I made fun of just a couple of hours ago: I will actively do that stupid #100happydays thing. Yes, it is really silly. Yes, I have figured out that it is just a thinly veiled attempt to sell people their own pictures as photobook. I have no real interest in that – all my photobook attempts so far have ended in disaster. But still! I should be able to think of a thing or two a day that at least has the potential to make me happy. And while I am at it, I will try to research something positive that can start a conversation.
“These stupid people can’t park!” – “Have you heard? They renewed ‘Episodes’ for another season!”
Maybe something different than that. But it might be a start.

3.0 Happy Happy!

I still hate those “Happy” videos. I get it, people have access to a camera and to dancing and to the internet these days. Wow. Much viral. Such Pharrell.
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Yours, still grumpy that he’s not the most grumpy anymore,
Dominik

1.0 Public Transport

Fun fact: I actually enjoy public transport. That is probably due to the fact that I was never really in a position where I had to rely on it for more than a couple of days. But nonetheless, I actually find it to be pretty interesting to take a train. (Or god forbid, a bus.)
I am pretty sure because it is the perfect way for an introvert to be amongst people. There are people around – something that the social animal called human seems to enjoy for whatever reason – but one is not required to interact with them. In fact, it is highly discouraged to interact with them and it’s usually the starrers and talkers that seem to be attract the ire of people.
In a way, taking public transport, especially during commuting times, feels a lot like lurking on the more open social parts of the internet. One gets to experience (for better or worse) a lot of different people and their life choices – something that opens the mind and the heart to the fact that, yes, people do take very different routes through life and that this is mostly a good thing.

2.0 Gadgets!

After I mentioned my Bluetooth speaker in my last email, I got a few questions about it.
I have the Logitech UE Mini Boom, which I bought after reading about it on The Wirecutter. It’s rather small but has a good sound quality for a speaker that size. It pairs well with my iPhone, I tried it once with my mother’s Lumia, which went well, too – so I guess it works with every device that supports audio over bluetooth. The battery life is pretty incredible – once it’s charged all the way I can listen to music and podcasts on it for the whole remaining day without having to think about it. It’s much more likely that my phone ends up yammering for a recharge.
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That’s all, folks.
Thanks for reading, have a good start into the week.
Dominik

1.0 Lifehack

Don’t use the bathroom before going to bed. Nothing helps you get out of bed faster in the morning than a certain amount of pressure.

2.0 Shower music

I tried listening to podcasts during my morning shower. I noticed pretty soon that I have trouble listening to people talk while water is flowing onto my head. So I checked the next possible source of audio entertainment on my phone and found Spotify.

My taste in music is very much “it depends” – something that tends to freak out fans of a specific genre of music. I am perfectly fine to listen to country music one day, dubstep the next one, classical music on the third day and trippy surfer music the day after that.
Now I am really tempted to write a little script that runs around the time I am usually done with my morning rituals, checks if I listened to any music in the last hour, take one random song and post it somewhere.
Useless? Yes. But it might be interesting and could even help someone discover new music.

Yay or nay?

2.1 Wait, what?

Yes, I listen to music from my iPhone while taking a shower. No, it’s not in there with me, I’d be scared to have water damage. I’m a bit less scared for my little bluetooth speaker to have water damage, so that one is in the bathroom and the iPhone is outside, nice and safe.
Maybe I should even consider spending money on a waterproof bluetooth speaker, then I don’t have to crank it up to 11 to hear it on my side of the shower curtain.

3.0 !!!!1111!!!

Once we all use smartphones, nobody will understand why we put ones in our row of exclamation marks.
He said, not knowing where non-iPhone smartphones have the exclamation mark on their virtual keyboards.

4.0 Hello, new readers!

This is what you get, it won’t get any deeper or smarter.
Take care,
Dominik

1.0 Dislike!

I openly admit – I am not very skilled at talking to normal people.
Don’t worry, I am not talking about any of you – normal people would never even think of subscribing to a newsletter by some random Internet dude. What would be the point?
Now currently I am in the terrible situation that I am almost exclusively sourrounded by normal people. People, who are scared of the part of the web that isn’t for buying stuff. People, who print out their emails, so they can put them in folders and never look at them again – in case they need them as reference. And if they use their smartphones then for WhatsApp and malware-laden free games. It’s a very alien world for me.
So – how to talk to these people? I don’t want to be aloof or unsocial.
I tried to listen to what they talk about. But I still don’t understand. Is it really worth discussing for hours who kicked what thing in which kind of sportsball? Am I supposed to have an enraged opinion on the way the postman is delivering letters? Do I need to loudly ponder the end of Christianity when I see a bunch of dark-skinned kids hang out at a bus stop? Is it expected of me to make fun of people who actually create something if it doesn’t match my taste? Maybe even pronounce someone to be a dumb idiot because he has a slightly different point of view? Maybe I need to join one of those clubs that mostly seem to be there so that people can have a reason to be mean to each other?
Honestly, I am a bit lost.

2.0 Like!

I got some nice feedback for the last couple of mails and that is very lovely.
After I calmed down from each wave of performance anxiety – “Omg, they liked that last one, what can I do that they like the next one, too?” – by tapping into my seemingly endless reservoire of acceptance for my own mediocrity, I started to think about the way we are social online. (What else.)
Most of our tools these days are built to provide a single, one-click way to deliver instant positive reinforcement. Likes, faves, thumbs up, stars, retweets, hearts – yay!

It’s easy to get addicted. It feels good to get those small notifications that not only someone paid attention to what one put online but also liked it enough to mark it as something they liked.
And yes, it might seem a meaningless thing – it doesn’t take much to tap or click that button. But still, it is a token of appreciation and a small note that someone out there saw something we did and didn’t hate it.

So, is there anything you want me to pay attention to and like that I might not know, yet? Let me know.

3.0 A website! A website!

As much as writing an email is refreshing, I am still at heart a web person. So here we go, the archive of the newsletter as a website.
Thanks for reading,
Dominik

1.0 Take my money

One would think that in the current economic climate, people and companies would be willing to exchange their goods and services for money.
Apparently that is not the case.

1.1 The curious case of the broken web shop

A while ago I decided I needed to buy something online that for some reason was not available through Amazon. I know that sounds crazy but apparently not everything is on there. So I tried the manufacturer’s online shop, which was looking all pretty, with happy good-looking young people using that product. Of course I immediately started to believe that just owning that product would also make me happy and good-looking, so: job well done, designer of that online shop.
Sadly whatever the designer did right, the developer(s) did wrong. Nothing worked properly. I added an item to the shopping cart, suddenly it was in there – twice. I removed one of them, added another item. That worked, but now the total sum was completely wrong. I tried to order anyway, guessing they’d figure out that there was something wrong before sendingme to Paypal. I shall never know if they do that because when I tried to use Paypal as a payment method, the whole thing gave me a pretty unspecific error and closed my session.
So far nothing unusual. Online shops are not an easy problem, even after amost 18 years of them in existence.
Then I tried the “Chat with one of our friendly support people” button and it got really strange. The support dude’s German was pretty basic. He refused my offer to switch to English and basically told me: “Well, that’s how it is, maybe try again tomorrow?” Say what?
So I tried the free support hotline. Because – well. It’s not like I have anything better to do with my life anyway. And don’t forget – their product will make me happy and good-looking! The lady on the phone didn’t need all that long to find the problem. “Some items just break the system, we also don’t know why.” “So – you just don’t sell them at all?” “Usually we re-enter them once a customer tells us about the problem, that tends to solve it.” Say what?

1.2 Do It Yourself

For some reason or another the pipe for the used water is broken on my washing machine. Not that this mattered at my last two appartments, but now it suddenly does, because just having a drain where the water goes, this one has some strange valve-thing that needs a proper connection to that pipe.
Having learned that the hard way, (And by hard I meant having some dude telling me in a condescending voice. I’m a fragile flower of a man.) I now have to find a way to have it fixed.
Being a modern, 21st century person I looked at the one place that I know to have the answer to every problem in the world: Google. Apparently not many people around here arrived in the 21st centry yet, so I found only one dude who advertises his ability to fix washing machines online. And when I tried to call him and his answering machine told me to rather contact him by email, I thought for a short, glorious moment: That’s the guy I want to pay for fixing my washing machine. Findable with Google, prefers email to phone calls – yes, yes. 21st century handyman.
And while that might be the case, he is also a handyman who doesn’t seem to need my money. “Just order a new pipe and repair the machine yourself.” Say what?
So in case you don’t hear from me again – I electrocuted myself putting in a pipe in a machine that mates electricity with water in a scary way.
Or I need to re-learn skills from the dark ages and find someone who can fix that bloody thing without using Google.

2.0 Thank you

Not much else to say. I am really thankful for Alexander’s nice motivational poster.
Until next time,
Dominik

Don’t expect this to happen at regular intervals. The name might have been a hint. Basically I will write this whenever I feel like it. (Or when someone sends me a bucket of gold to do so. Honestly, I’ve always been willing to sell out.

1.0 Delivered/Read

Most modern messaging clients tell the sender of a message if the recipient recieved and actually read the sent message. Some, like WhatsApp, even show the last time people used the software.
That is literally hell for people with an unhealthy dose of social anxiety. Most people might not read too much into it, but it’s a whole new layer on how and what to communicate.
And disabling those features – as it is possible on some clients – sends a whole other message, because even that is usually visible for other people.

And the fact is that those technologies are still pretty young and we haven’t quite figured out what the proper etiquette around them are.

We have learned that requiring read receipts in emails is something that only Outlook users know about and only people with sociopathic and controllic tendencies would do. (There is a surprising overlap in those two groups.) Most of us have also learned to keep emails short and sweet. (The irony of mentioning that in a rambling newsletter is not lost on me.) We do know that calling people in the middle of the night is really quite rude.
Most of us might even think that calling unannounced at every point of the day is pretty rude. Who is using phones for calling people anymore, anyway?

Rude.

This matches well with the Ox and Moron section of the last newsletter. People – and by people I mean me – tend to have different standards on how to understand their own and other people’s behavior around these issues. While it’s perfectly fine to just ignore a message for now when I do it, I do feel slightly miffed when I see that someone has received and read my message and does not respond right away.
I might even be forced to call them.

2.0 This is the wurst! Or not.

Last sunday I have figured out an ingenious way to judge German towns.
If I manage to find a nice bratwurst in a bun on a Sunday afternoon in town without having to take a car, the town gets the thumbs up.

I am sad to say that Lörrach didn’t make it.

3.0 A brief moment of panic

Last night, Twitter was down for a short while.
Last week, I was unable to use Instagram for a couple of days.
Both events scared me more than they should. Crisis of identity. Who am I if not @dominik?
Now that I am back living in my home town, I seem to be “The young Mr Schwind” to most people which freaks me out even more.
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This should do it for now. Thanks again for reading, it is rather nice of you to do so.
If you have anything at all to say, you can just use the reply function. Tinyletter says that I get those and I do take their word for it.
Dominik