Machete Order

Hello internet friends,

bad news! The Robot Sex conference in Malaysia (remember?) has been cancelled.
What I did learn from that article – besides that it is apparently not in the Malaysian culture to mate with machines – is that one of the guys behind that specific field of research is Adrian David Cheok, who those of you, who have been reading my newsletter for a while now, know from his very important work on Poultry Internet Touching.
(This here is now the moment where you tell me you’re proud of me for not making one of the very obvious puns involving the different meanings of the word “cock.”)

Something that I have actually never even considered: Does being self-deprecating help or harm you socially?
Given my very “active” “social life” I think I can answer that one without even having to read the article. (Which I did. I have so many turns outs to process.)

If you ever feel like you need to write a tech think piece but need some inspiration, why not look here. Your article should do well on Medium!

Based on last week’s alien megastructure, which is now being investigated more thoroughly – and will probably be soon forgotten outside of space nerd circles – there were a whole bunch of articles around the Fermi paradox. For me it was always pretty simple – many people assume there might be old, ancient space-travelling races out there – but maybe we’re just the first planet where life has gotten advanced enough to invent selfie-sticks look out into space? Given that most earth-like worlds are still in their infancy or don’t even exist, yet, this might be an explanation.
So I guess we better get out there.

Thanks again to the three people who read this ema… wait. Self-deprecating humour. Let me start again…
Thanks again to the three people who sent me a nice reply to last week’s email. Turns out you really liked that subject line. Well, so did I.


Hello internet friends,

soooo, it is rather likely that that alien megastructure is probably not an alien megastructure.
On the one hand, that is a real let-down, on the other hand, phew, dodged another bullet there.

It is impossible to unhear this song. Amazing.

When people in India are not dancing, they answer questions on Quora. Not everybody is amused.

And just like the internet is slowly shifting around the world and becoming (finally) more diverse, some of it is reaching countries that were cut off before.

Slightly creepy – Canon previews a 250MP sensor, super-long telelens and something called ‘Turbulence Removal’.

Now, news from the department of shark selfies: we got one. -ish. It was a toy shark, so there was a toy price. Get diving, folks!

This Will Feel Good

Hello internet friends,

it’s Monday morning, just around eight-ish, when I write this and I could already do with a nap. The only thing I really look forward to on every Monday is writing this email to you and even for this I need a reminder.
So, yes, the news that Digital dependence [is] ‘eroding human memory’ comes as no surprise. On the other hand, I know people who can remember all kinds of random phone numbers and are completely useless when setting up email signatures. Now which of these skills sounds more useful once the apocalypse comes?

Are you a Lego or a Playmobil person?
The only person I know who admits to being a Playmobil person also does SEO and Online Marketing, soooooo…

Now for the news! Just Admit It hits pretty close to home.
Sometimes very US-centric, but mostly rather amusing.

Last week I asked you about your personal brand and admitted that I was worried about mine. Maybe we should all listen to someone who has been in that racket for a long time.

Most of the pictures I take with my new broségold iPhone are sad selfies on the couch. Turns out this little machine can do a whole lot more. It is pretty stunning, indeed.

Talking about selfies – where are those shark selfies?

Now folks, go ahead and tell me how much you all like me and the hard work I put into this email. (I haven’t read past the headline, yet, but will do so once I have sent out this newsletter.)

You all take care out there.

Enjoy The Silence

Hello internet friends,

do you have a ~personal brand~?
I apparently[1] have one and it’s a bit scary.

But maybe this will be a lot better once I use my army of sock puppet accounts to leave positive reviews of myself on Peeple, which is the worst idea ever. (You can decide if “leaving fake reviews” or “a website to review people” is the worst idea ever. I can be ambiguous with my grammar here. It’s not a dating site, after all.)

Apparently silence is a luxury now. I’m mostly happy when it is not silent, because outside noise drowns out the voices in my head. (See also: podcast addiction.)

Remember two weeks back, that link about not having sex with robots? (Which, according to feedback I got, was “disturbing.”) Well, apparently these people don’t read my emails. Or the BBC website, but all four of you know which is one more widely circulated.

And I’m still waiting for those shark selfies.

  1. Screenshot from an article I wrote for Digital gefesselt, which is not, unlike the name might suggest, a periodical for nerdy bondage fans.
    I think.  ↩