Fetch

Hello internet friends,

here we go again. (♬ Here we go go go to the temple of consumption. ♫)

So far coffee is my only drug but this sounds pretty good, too.

What is actually pretty good is the new Netflix series Master of None by and with Aziz Ansari. I watched it all in one go, which might have been excessive – but also doable, as the first season is just ten short episodes.
Highly recommended – not only by me, the whole internet seems to agree. (Almost. There are always grumps.)

I’m not what one might call a ~millennial~ – but I’d honestly would consider living in something like those new living situations here. Just add a balcony and I’m there.
As long as Elwood doesn’t forget to bring me my cheese whiz.

Apparently the whole Apple car thing is happening – or not. Maybe there really is a company called Faraday Future that suddenly has a lot of money from nowhere and very soon we have forgotten about it while Apple is still trying to make the Apple TV happen.

Last week I got the feedback that this newsletter is not very democratic and/or a discussion mailing list. That’s right and by design.
If you do have something to share – comments, thoughts, links, etc. – I am happy to get replies to these emails and share interesting feedback, too. If email is not your medium – hah – you could blog your thoughts and link to the newsletter on the archive page. If you don’t have your own blog, it might be easiest to sign up for Medium dot com and reply directly to the newsletter on my archive over there. If you’re more of a tumblr person, there is this.
There are all the options – I do try to accommodate your ways of saying hi.

Now, be safe. And don’t forget about those shark selfies – I’m still waiting for a real shark.

Faster Pussycar! Kill! Kill!

Hello internet friends old and new,
how nice to see you all.

The IMDb is 25 years old. That’s a lot of internet years.
One of the items on that bucket list that I still need to write is getting an IMDb entry – who can arrange that for me?

I was on a flight yesterday – which was delayed and there was huge chaos at the airport and with the boarding process. And while the sky was clear on my route, heavy fog over the UK messed up the whole heavily interconnected European route network.
In case you wonder: Why is my flight delayed in foggy weather?

Talking about both bucket lists and traveling – that whole container ship traveling thing looks pretty amazing.

Pretty soon the ocean might be the only place where humans are half-way safe: Why Self-Driving Cars Must Be Programmed to Kill.

Somehow the future was better in the past. If there is one person who is responsible for that, it is Syd Mead. Here he is, giving a pretty interesting interview, interlaced with some of his drawings.

Take care, folks.

Machete Order

Hello internet friends,

bad news! The Robot Sex conference in Malaysia (remember?) has been cancelled.
What I did learn from that article – besides that it is apparently not in the Malaysian culture to mate with machines – is that one of the guys behind that specific field of research is Adrian David Cheok, who those of you, who have been reading my newsletter for a while now, know from his very important work on Poultry Internet Touching.
(This here is now the moment where you tell me you’re proud of me for not making one of the very obvious puns involving the different meanings of the word “cock.”)

Something that I have actually never even considered: Does being self-deprecating help or harm you socially?
Given my very “active” “social life” I think I can answer that one without even having to read the article. (Which I did. I have so many turns outs to process.)

If you ever feel like you need to write a tech think piece but need some inspiration, why not look here. Your article should do well on Medium!

Based on last week’s alien megastructure, which is now being investigated more thoroughly – and will probably be soon forgotten outside of space nerd circles – there were a whole bunch of articles around the Fermi paradox. For me it was always pretty simple – many people assume there might be old, ancient space-travelling races out there – but maybe we’re just the first planet where life has gotten advanced enough to invent selfie-sticks look out into space? Given that most earth-like worlds are still in their infancy or don’t even exist, yet, this might be an explanation.
So I guess we better get out there.

Thanks again to the three people who read this ema… wait. Self-deprecating humour. Let me start again…
Thanks again to the three people who sent me a nice reply to last week’s email. Turns out you really liked that subject line. Well, so did I.

Übergangsjacke

Hello internet friends,

soooo, it is rather likely that that alien megastructure is probably not an alien megastructure.
On the one hand, that is a real let-down, on the other hand, phew, dodged another bullet there.

It is impossible to unhear this song. Amazing.

When people in India are not dancing, they answer questions on Quora. Not everybody is amused.

And just like the internet is slowly shifting around the world and becoming (finally) more diverse, some of it is reaching countries that were cut off before.

Slightly creepy – Canon previews a 250MP sensor, super-long telelens and something called ‘Turbulence Removal’.

Now, news from the department of shark selfies: we got one. -ish. It was a toy shark, so there was a toy price. Get diving, folks!

This Will Feel Good

Hello internet friends,

it’s Monday morning, just around eight-ish, when I write this and I could already do with a nap. The only thing I really look forward to on every Monday is writing this email to you and even for this I need a reminder.
So, yes, the news that Digital dependence [is] ‘eroding human memory’ comes as no surprise. On the other hand, I know people who can remember all kinds of random phone numbers and are completely useless when setting up email signatures. Now which of these skills sounds more useful once the apocalypse comes?

Are you a Lego or a Playmobil person?
The only person I know who admits to being a Playmobil person also does SEO and Online Marketing, soooooo…

Now for the news! Just Admit It hits pretty close to home.
Sometimes very US-centric, but mostly rather amusing.

Last week I asked you about your personal brand and admitted that I was worried about mine. Maybe we should all listen to someone who has been in that racket for a long time.

Most of the pictures I take with my new broségold iPhone are sad selfies on the couch. Turns out this little machine can do a whole lot more. It is pretty stunning, indeed.

Talking about selfies – where are those shark selfies?

Now folks, go ahead and tell me how much you all like me and the hard work I put into this email. (I haven’t read past the headline, yet, but will do so once I have sent out this newsletter.)

You all take care out there.

Enjoy The Silence

Hello internet friends,

do you have a ~personal brand~?
I apparently[1] have one and it’s a bit scary.

But maybe this will be a lot better once I use my army of sock puppet accounts to leave positive reviews of myself on Peeple, which is the worst idea ever. (You can decide if “leaving fake reviews” or “a website to review people” is the worst idea ever. I can be ambiguous with my grammar here. It’s not a dating site, after all.)

Apparently silence is a luxury now. I’m mostly happy when it is not silent, because outside noise drowns out the voices in my head. (See also: podcast addiction.)

Remember two weeks back, that link about not having sex with robots? (Which, according to feedback I got, was “disturbing.”) Well, apparently these people don’t read my emails. Or the BBC website, but all four of you know which is one more widely circulated.

And I’m still waiting for those shark selfies.


  1. Screenshot from an article I wrote for Digital gefesselt, which is not, unlike the name might suggest, a periodical for nerdy bondage fans.
    I think.  ↩

Selfienado

Hello internet friends!

The Internet has been a bit weird last week. First they said selfies are more deadly than sharks! But then suddenly: Selfies are not more deadly than sharks!
Sharks!

Kittie has been around for 20 years? Now I feel old.

The Concorde will fly again! But really?
I don’t know, maybe it would be a better and probably easier idea to build a new supersonic airplane instead?

Meanwhile in the department of “sure, why not:” We Asked a Cultural Historian: Are Apple Stores the New Temples?
I am happy when cultural historians have neat little side jobs and sure, yes, temples.

Take care. And: The first of you who sends me a selfie with a shark wins a price!

Internet of Clothes

Hello, internet friends!

Last week we were all excited about ad blocking, then we stopped being excited about it, and yet there are so many ~think pieces~ on the web about it right now and I’m not going to link to a single one of them.
That being said, if you want to advertise to a self-selected group of very smart and highly attractive people, I might find space for an ad spot here in this very newsletter!

So now someone started building clothes that are part of the Internet of Things and I’m all for it.
I’d just wait for a while – if they work as well as my Wemos, they stop working when you need them the most.

Since we’re in the future already, let’s look at Cyberpunk Real-Time Chess. I’m getting a heart attack just watching this, I can’t even properly play StarCraft 2 on the slowest setting.

Regarding the future: maybe we should stop putting our penis in almost everything, especially not in robots.

Another thing we shouldn’t even think about starting:

THIS STORY IS being previewed exclusively on Apple News until Tuesday, September 22nd.

Well, no, Wired. Don’t.

If you want to read the three proper articles that I linked to on your Kindle, you can get them as an e-book-thing here on Readlist.
It’s an experiment, the idea blatantly stolen from Caitlin Dewey, who sends her newsletter every day.

Until next week, take care.

Brands!

Hello internet friends!

The next time someone asks[1] me to write for their publication, I will be happy to have read this article because I am sure it doesn’t only apply to Medium Dot Com.
Onwards.

Remember Twitter “parody” accounts? For a while it has been the number one indicator that someone is a bit daft when then retweet “RealCelebrityThough” or “HomerSimpsonTBH” – but this seems to be over. But mostly because Twitter closes down these accounts. Tears are being shed:

Behind every parody twitter account is a network of tech bros who connect #brands with to #monetize #audiences. […] “Getting a job” haunts . Late last month, beauty vlogger and #influencer #ally Jenny Dey filmed a passionate vlog from the cream leather passenger seat of a parked SUV, in which she urged her fans to support their favorite novelty Twitter accounts through this difficult time. “I feel like you guys don’t understand! Social media is not just social media,” Dey said. “To be completely honest, if I didn’t have my YouTube channel, I’d probably be homeless.” She paused, reconsidered, and rephrased that last bit: “Well, I mean, I’d have a job and stuff. … I’d have to find a normal job.”

Aww. Won’t someone think of the .

An important skill to learn: How to draw a map.

How about some Space Whisky? Apparently it tastes different. Which might actually make it good?

In case you wondered why you want to buy the new iPhone even though your old one is still perfectly fine.
You’re welcome.


  1. Doesn’t say “no” in a terrified voice when I offer that I could write something.  ↩

Like A Sailor

Hello internet friends!

This week, there will be a lot of sweary links. So if you’re offended by this, maybe fuck off read something else.

What the fuck, Google?

Death to Bullshit
I like the idea and the sentiment, but maybe it would be a good idea to not hide the links on the blog behind Tumblr redirects? (To be completely honest – I am a Tumblr user and have no clue if it is possible to disable those redirects. (And to be double honest, yes, I know that all links here are behind redirects, too. That’s tinyletter and there is no way to disable that.))
Anyway, yes.

Twitter’s Product is Fucking Fine – it is, really. Just maybe some more power to the API, so that Third-Party-Clients can really shine and then go ahead, build some more random products that I don’t have to use.

And then here is President Bartlet putting on his jacket. A lot. And why does he do it? Well, Martin Sheen has limited movement in his left arm, so that’s how he puts on jackets. As he did back in 1973.

Does that look clean to you?

Be safe.