Brands!

September 14, 2015

Hello internet friends!

The next time someone asks[1] me to write for their publication, I will be happy to have read this article because I am sure it doesn’t only apply to Medium Dot Com.
Onwards.

Remember Twitter “parody” accounts? For a while it has been the number one indicator that someone is a bit daft when then retweet “RealCelebrityThough” or “HomerSimpsonTBH” – but this seems to be over. But mostly because Twitter closes down these accounts. Tears are being shed:

Behind every parody twitter account is a network of tech bros who connect #brands with to #monetize #audiences. […] “Getting a job” haunts . Late last month, beauty vlogger and #influencer #ally Jenny Dey filmed a passionate vlog from the cream leather passenger seat of a parked SUV, in which she urged her fans to support their favorite novelty Twitter accounts through this difficult time. “I feel like you guys don’t understand! Social media is not just social media,” Dey said. “To be completely honest, if I didn’t have my YouTube channel, I’d probably be homeless.” She paused, reconsidered, and rephrased that last bit: “Well, I mean, I’d have a job and stuff. … I’d have to find a normal job.”

Aww. Won’t someone think of the .

An important skill to learn: How to draw a map.

How about some Space Whisky? Apparently it tastes different. Which might actually make it good?

In case you wondered why you want to buy the new iPhone even though your old one is still perfectly fine.
You’re welcome.

  1. Doesn’t say “no” in a terrified voice when I offer that I could write something.  ↩

Like A Sailor

September 7, 2015

Hello internet friends!

This week, there will be a lot of sweary links. So if you’re offended by this, maybe fuck off read something else.

What the fuck, Google?

Death to Bullshit
I like the idea and the sentiment, but maybe it would be a good idea to not hide the links on the blog behind Tumblr redirects? (To be completely honest – I am a Tumblr user and have no clue if it is possible to disable those redirects. (And to be double honest, yes, I know that all links here are behind redirects, too. That’s tinyletter and there is no way to disable that.))
Anyway, yes.

Twitter’s Product is Fucking Fine – it is, really. Just maybe some more power to the API, so that Third-Party-Clients can really shine and then go ahead, build some more random products that I don’t have to use.

And then here is President Bartlet putting on his jacket. A lot. And why does he do it? Well, Martin Sheen has limited movement in his left arm, so that’s how he puts on jackets. As he did back in 1973.

Does that look clean to you?

Be safe.

Doppelgänger

September 1, 2015

Hello internet friends,

the -bers have started, which basically means it’s dark outside when I get up. This is not designed to make me happy and if I have learned one thing as a consumer in the last few decades, then it is that I can demand things to be designed for my happiness.
Onwards.

Apparently nobody knows how to properly write by hand anymore because of ballpoint pens. I mostly don’t know how to properly by hand anymore because I can’t copy and paste it into a newsletter or a tweet.

The final Discworld novel reached me yesterday and I had to stop myself from reading it all through in one go.
Maybe I should start reading the whole series from the beginning – after all, I do have a whole shelf dedicated to them.

If you want to fly in an old 747 – and who wouldn’t want that? – British Airways might be the place to go.

Creepy!

Be safe. And if you look at yourself, give yourself a thumbs-up, you’re doing fine.

Get Comfy

August 25, 2015

Hello internet friends!

What a lovely Monday it is!
It isn’t? Oh.
Onwards.

Remember Second Life? Of course you do. A mere ten years ago it was the future of everything. Of course with the new VR headsets, it might be the future of everything again, soon.
Until then, there are people who wander aimlessly through the abandoned worlds. “Get comfy,” indeed.

I read the occasional science-fiction novel, but I don’t follow the trades. So I can’t tell you Who Won Science Fiction’s Hugo Awards, and Why It Matters but Amy Wallace can. And oh boy, another story of stupidity with a pretty satisfying conclusion.

Talking about satisfaction: My wife found my email in the Ashley Madison database – it’s a bit about the Ashley Madison hack, but a lot about email addresses and namespace collusion.
Now guess how many emails I get to my dominik@gmail.com address?

If you are an airplane nerd – and I am sure, deep inside we all are, right? – here is a five hour documentary about the design and development process of the Boeing 777. And since that all happened in the early 90s, it is also pretty fun to watch it for the clothes, hair styles and the whole innocence in documentary making. They even have an almost ten minute long segment of Boeing engineers debating who gets to have a nice office and who needs to fly coach instead of business class.
Lovely.

Hm, I wonder if I can sign up for this in the amateur division?

Take a nap, once in a while.

Fargo, Gentrified

August 17, 2015

Hello internet friends,

I didn’t watch this documentary about the Kowloon Walled City, yet, but it has been highly recommended, so here you go. I’ll make sure to watch it later today.

Because we all like long and well-written articles, here is one about hacking, gentrified:

Thus the emergent tech industry’s definition of ‘hacking’ as quirky-but-edgy innovation by optimistic entrepreneurs with a love of getting things done. Nothing sinister about it: it’s just on-the-fly problem-solving for profit. This gentrified pitch is not just a cool personal narrative. It’s also a useful business construct, helping the tech industry to distinguish itself from the aggressive squares of Wall Street, competing for the same pool of new graduates.

I had altogether too much fun with Pablo. (A sentence I did not think I would ever write.)

And then I am really looking forward to the next season of Fargo.

Have a good week, everybody.

Dragons, Dogs and Robots

August 10, 2015

Hello internet friends,

I really like this bridge and would advocate for all bridges being shaped into fire-breathing dragons.
Given the headline – “world’s largest dragon-shaped steel bridge” – one wonders where all the smaller dragon-shaped steel bridges are. Maybe there is a whole subculture of bridge builders who are into dragons?

Dogs!

Important science: Why Do Children Abuse Robots? [PDF]
This might sound mocking, but I think it actually is important. After all… – and once they achieve sentience, they will know.

Do you know the history of ice cream? I didn’t.

Stay hydrated!

Mop.

August 3, 2015

Hello internet friends!

I had some dodgy red wine yesterday, walked around in the sun and my current reality is very different from the one I usually experience. There is this sudden hum and pushing myself through the air is a bit harder than usual, too.

Am I the only one who didn’t notice the dog on Marc Zuckerberg’s pregnancy announcement post? For quite a while I thought that this is quite a weirdly fluffy dress.

I ordered four things from Amazon this weekend. I had those build up over a few days, so I could order them all at the same time, so just one package will need to be sent out.
This morning I got four shipping notices – each item separately, shipped on different days with different couriers. This is all getting a bit silly.

Talking about silly – VidCon 2015. Did nobody tell people that making teen boys – who are the worst, I know, I was one – famous is a terrible idea?

I’ve never been to Reykjavik, but this map is very, very pretty.

Be safe.

Our Future Now

July 27, 2015

Hello internet friends!

I tried to block all “unsafe” traffic when using a public hotspot, but the web (including many of my own sites) are not prepared to handle a world in which port 80 is not allowed.
And because I am very smart I disabled my SSH host before going on this trip.

Meanwhile in news from the future that we’re living in:

Apple Music is confusing enough that even a big fan manages to destroy his music library with it. He’s famous enough that someone at Apple helped him, but not everybody has this option, do we?

It is possible to hack into cars and do serious damage.

And maybe, just maybe, we need a new model for journalism that doesn’t turn a medium-length ranty article into a 7MB monster.
I used to play games that simulated a whole season of Formula 1 that needed less space.

But hey, just small sidesteps on our way to becoming a Type I civilization, right?

Be safe.

Ice Cream Licks You.

July 20, 2015

Hello internet friends!

Nine (nine!) years ago, my first tweet.
I feel old. A lot has happened in those nine years. And yet, here we are.

Cheated on your spouse lately? Maybe using ~the internet~? Well, bummer.

I am always fascinated by a good map. So I found it even more fascinating that there are apparently awesome secret Soviet maps around.
The temptation to order a bunch for a super secret project that I am working on is pretty high.

Now go and have some ice cream.
Yes, even if you’re in the southern hemisphere, ice cream is nice all year around.

Blue and Yellow

July 13, 2015

Hello internet friends!

Did you ever want to touch a hologram? Well, now you can. It is a bit scary, though:

[…] earlier iterations of plasma holograms burn human skin upon contact.

I am sure there is a whole subculture somewhere devoted to exactly that.

Apparently it is possible to see polarization. I couldn’t quite get it work, but then I see so many weird things when looking at nothing, a bunch of blue and yellow bow-ties might get lost in the noise.

It is possible to send an email to a tree in Melbourne.
This might be the best possible use case for email.

I mean, right after this email, right? Right?

Take care.