Don't Trust Your Bot

Hello internet friends,

because bots are so hot right now I wanted to open this email with one of those fake text message conversation pictures that some people use to amuse themselves.
Turns out every single generator for those things is sleazy af and wants me to like/share/log into it with Facebook. So… not today.

Onwards! Bots! Facebook Messenger has them now, Microsoft has a whole framework for them and of course they are old news for people like me who actually use Telegram.
But are bots actually good at everything? Well, not necessarily. Maybe they are not the best UI paradigm (yeah!) if it takes 73 taps instead of 16 when ordering a pizza.
For what it’s worth, I mostly don’t want to have media and commerce where I have conversations with my friends. Now that’s a problem that no clever API can solve for media and commerce companies, isn’t it?

I have no clever segue, so here’s an article about publishing articles on the web in 2016: Don’t Trust Your CMS.
Even if you’re not reading that article, take the title as an important bit of advice. (That being said, if you’re even remotely interested in putting words (or other content, ehm) on the web – and I figure most of you are or you wouldn’t still be reading this – it is worth reading. And give that I write stuff like this email in a text editor and then happily copy it into different CMSses the whole thing should be a proper warning to me, too.)

So, apparently the new Beyoncé album is really good but I’ll sure as hell not pay for Tidal to listen to it.

Heard that thing about the jet in the UK that hit a drone? Yeah, well. That’s more American Beauty than a drone.

Talking about the UK – what a bunch of humorless tossers. (I bet they’d love hearing that from a German person.)

I am a big fan of ramen – both the “good” kind and the instant one. And learning about the existence of the World Instant Noodles Association gave me great pleasure.

Now let’s learn more things!
Baby dinosaurs were not cute. (Except the little carnivores, who probably looked like this. Or more like this.)
Planes used to drop out of the sky in Iceland a lot, back in the days. And thanks to Justin Bieber that’s still a problem today.
It still takes a lot of work and ressources to produce a show for TV. At least if you want to make it right.

This one I mostly like for the title: Dolphins Are Helping Us Hunt for Aliens. It’s a bit misleading, though – they are mostly supposed to help us how to learn to communicate with beings that have a different way of expressing themselves than us. (Maybe we can use chatbots?)

I’m still not done! So much content to curate for you!
I never really cared about Indycar, but I’m a sucker for articles about the history of car racing. This one is pretty fascinating.

Phew. Now we’re done. You have a week to catch up – or at least to instapaper all the great links and feel bad about not reading them.
Have fun.

Convertibles

Hello internet friends,

while I was pretty pretty pleased with last week’s “Here are ruined things” email I also got the feedback that ~people~ will not click on links if they are presented that way. One of my friends – an online marketing viral content guru (aha!) – even suggested that this format does not convert hence the lower engagement with my content.
And we wouldn’t want that, would we? So here we go!

Neil Gaiman
Neil Gaiman

Neil Gaiman spoke at a memorial event for Terry Pratchett – you will never guess what he revealed there.

Ayers Turbo Thrush
Ayers Turbo Thrush

The amazing story of a man trying to build his own private air force.

Machu Pichu
Machu Pichu

You will be surprised which invasive species is destroying South America!

Pixelated Butt
Pixelated Butt

Political Correctness taken too far??!!??!!

Gorillaz at the Apollo
Gorillaz at the Apollo

How Blur frontman Damon Albarn and comic artist Jamie Hewlett evolved into a cartoon simian rock band

:D
😀

She is known as the most famous stock photography model in the world – now learn what Rebecca Givens is up to next.

Cubibles
Cubibles

They decide what you get to see online – and yet they are underpaid, overworked and barely acknowledged.

Cupcakes
Cupcakes

27 Ridiculously Creative Ways To Decorate Cupcakes

Now go forth and engage!

Like4like, follow4follow! Twitter! Facebook! Medium Dot Com!


Because reasons, here are the image credits:

  • Picture of Neil Gaiman, taken by Kyle Cassidy and shared under a Creative Commons licence on Wikipedia.
  • Picture of the Ayers Thrush, shared under a Creative Commons licence on Wikipedia
  • Picture of Machu Pichu, shared under a Creative Commons licence on Flickr
  • Picture of a pixelated Rust butt, blatantly stolen from their dev blog.
  • Gorillaz at the Apollo, public domain via Wikipedia
  • Photo of Rebecca Givens, via, well, a stock photography site.
  • Picture of cubicles, public domain via Wikipedia
  • Picture of cupcakes, shared under a Creative Commons licence on Flickr

Ruined By Everything

Hello internet friends,

it’s Monday, so let’s be cheerful! To facilitate it, here are things that are ruined!

Cheered up, yet? Hm. Let’s try good stuff, then.

Better? Alright. If not, have a beverage of your choice and a moment of serenity.

Juicy!

Hello internet friends!

I’m not so sure what to think about this whole deal with the Panama papers, yet. A lot of journalists seem to be pretty psyched by their own work, which actually is pretty impressive, so: good for them.
I have my doubts that this won’t be out of the news cycle pretty soon, though – there is always stuff happening and most people have short attention spans.

Talking about short attention spans: Chipmunks!

You might want to have a good laugh at Juicero, the Nespresso of juices, but then remember: they managed to get themselves $70m and articles not only in the tech press, but also The New York Times and Vogue.
But hey, it is ~Food Tech~

Talking about collecting a lot of investment for something ridiculous and/or non-working: Electronic Gills!
Unlike the juicer this might kill somebody, so it’s not quite as funny. On the other hand, that articles from the New York Times mentions some dangers of the ~smart juicer~:

Working with freelance welders and machinists, he built prototypes in his Brooklyn kitchen. By 2013, he had a working model, albeit one that occasionally blew apart, sending pieces of metal and food scraps flying across the room.

Boom.

Have you taken a selfie of a hoverboard lately?
Words have meanings. The only smart person in the whole Egyptair story mentions that, too. It’s an exercise for the reader to find out who she is.

Life hacks!

Be obscure.
Sleep naked.
Watch Friends.

I think we have reached peak Vice.

Have a good week.